Tuesday, October 7, 2008


To be read accompanied by the song "Madder Sky" from Code Geass R2.

Mask Misunderstood
by -=Rageadon=-

I have great honour bestowed upon me.
A single act; expanding three years... And counting.

Do my loved ones see me in the purest light?
Are their visions freed from prejudice?
The only friend that I have confirmed...
Is the one person who does not wish to see my face.

I have been given a mask.

Since the beginning, I have been wearing it.
Random strangers see it all the time.
I wear it whenever I meet people online.
But the mask is taken off whenever someone wants to know me.
Ever so willing I have done so.

And I've wished for those close to me to know...

But this one person has never asked.
I didn't realize until now that this was a blessing;
That her curiousity hadn't invaded her dreams.
I may be wrong about her motives,
But from my point of view they shine like morning's dew.

Although she keeps me at a distance, and perhaps only trusts me somewhat...
For the first time the other day, I realized she was serious;
...When she said I was a friend.
She believes in me; my metaphysical self.
Even though I am right infront of her, she hasn't opened her eyes.
She's only known the world which I see, by my description.
She's only known my God-molded clay, from the words I've conveyed.
...But she has a choice to know the truth for herself!
Yet she dares not banish the world she already sees...
She dares not demolish the physical form of me -already perfect in her mind.
I am as pure as my essence by her perception.
A once in a lifetime gift...

I will now wear with pride, this mask misunderstood.
"No one really knows me if they don't see me.
From what or where else could I show my sincerity?
I was wrong.
She's already made me a part of her reality.


Suddenly, I snapped out of my revelation. I recognized the back of her hair and her skirt as she passed infront of me; down the stairs. She had barely reached the bottom when we called out her name. She turned around and exclaimed a happy "Ah!", and before I knew it... We were being guided by her, with her arm in ours. I did not ask for this, yet it happened. I was humbled.

I love it when they do that. Any lady that places her arm -as if placing her trust and faith- in my own, has my thanks. For those moments, however brief they may be, I feel whole again; like I have purpose and meaning... Like as if my existence was worth something to someone. If this body was solely mine, I would have been a knight in golden days. And perhaps in this modern world... just maybe... a loyal and dependable escort; a bodyguard.

She looked hurried, so we quickened our pace. We asked her how she was doing, and she said "not good". We were all surprised, it isn't every day that someone is upfront and open with us. I was concerned, so we inquired about her problem. We continued to walk, and she started to say how she was worried about running into a potential stalker... A boy that she had rejected. We talked more about it and I endeavoured to confirm that she was in a safe and calm state before letting her wave us off... And right before I parted, she thanked us. "Karo, you're my hero."

How strange these events. Two happenings that could have meant a lot to me were random happenstances. How could they have come so easy? First the close quarters, then the flattery? Surely, I've had to put in much more effort before to hear such praise. She most certainly does not know the implications of her words and actions. Indeed, such an honour has therefore not been taken into account. There is no way she could have possibly known of my knighterratic nature; we've only known each other for about two weeks! It was all too random that at that precise moment I somehow stumbled upon someone in such a situation. Yes, it is merely a coincidence that I was depended upon.

Then again, perhaps the high powers of above planned it. Perhaps I was meant to save her from possible disaster... Anything could have happened; had I not been there to witness it. It's weird to think that my existence is only made use of in times of crisis. It saddens me even more to think that the attaining of my happiness lies in the possibility of misfortune in others.

Bwah, this may sound ridiculous... But I guess this is how I contribute to Karo's optimism. I suppose that I'm the one who is always thinking... that perhaps the bad things that do happen; save us in actuality from worser fates.


1 comment:

Hesbell said...

I always love to read your poetry and stories~